D'oh!

Looking back over the last few posts I think there's been a bit too much whinging and not enough of the stuff that makes us crease up with laughter.

So, in an attempt to redress the balance......

The other night we were called to an address by a mother whose son was smashing the place up. We got there within a few minutes but the little blighter had already run off. So we took a statement for the damage and went on our way asking mum to give us a ring if and when he came back.

She phoned us about an hour later to say he'd returned, so our little van popped along. I went round the back with a PCSO and two of the bobbies on my team went round the front. I heard talking from inside so I thought my colleagues had already gone in, so I went in through the back door.

Mum was alone inside in the lounge pointing upstairs, so I thought that perhaps this was where my colleagues had gone, so up I trooped.

When I got to the top of the stairs I could see into the lad's bedroom. He was there with his brother and a mate and he was obviously aware that we were here to nick him, though he hadn't seen me yet. He was running around like a headless chicken, the poor love, trying to find somewhere to hide. From just outside his room, in my best high-pitched voice, I whispered "quick, in the wardrobe!"

You could see the cogs turning as he stopped, thought about it, then dived into the wardrobe. I then squeeked, "quick, shut the door, shut the door!"

Again, grateful for the advice, he shut the door behind him.

I then went into the room and stood outside the wardrobe saying "shh, they'll hear you" to his brother and mate's amusement.

It all went quiet until, after a few minutes, a muffled voice came from inside "have they gone yet?"

I opened the door and said, "sorry mate, no, we haven't".

As I pointed out to him later in custody, everybody hides in the wardrobe. You've got more chance of not getting caught if you stand in the corner of the room with a lampshade on your head!