Monday, 13 August 2007

Only The Big Issues

So much has changed since I popped off and have since come back.

There's a new Prime Minister (I was going to say new Home Sec' too, but that goes without saying. When's the last time anyone spent more than eight days in the post?) and we're waiting to see what his thoughts on Policing are.

The threat from Al Qaeda is still ever-present culminating in some mis-guided numpty trying to drive his BBQ set into Glasgow airport. (On a side issue, could they possibly have picked a worse target? Anywhere else in the country the passengers would have been running for cover. In Glasgow they all weigh in and give them a pasting. Even the bloke who was on fire! I saw (made up) an interview with one of them on TV. He said, "I saw he was on fire and tried to put him out with the fire extinguisher". Interviewer: "Yes, but they work better if you spray water out of them, not beat the person around the head with it".)

There's been massive falls on the stock exchange leading to fears of global financial meltdown. Or something.

The football season's just started and I'm trying to convince Mrs Paperwork that we need Sky Sports. Even if it means we don't eat for a couple of weeks. Think of the weight we'd lose.

And it looks like we've got another fight on our hands to get a pay rise in September.

But all of these issues pale into insignificance alongside that of a new tea fund that's been introduced in my absence. Honestly, turn your back for five minutes and somebody goes and hikes up the prices and buys crap biscuits. Supermarket own-brand digestives are inferior! Only custard creams, bourbons, hob nobs and McVities digestives (chocolate or plain) are acceptable!

It's possibly because of this trauma that I was a very bad boy on my return. My inbox contained a daft amount of emails, so many that it would (possibly) have taken days just to skim through them. So, in the interests of efficiency, I just kind of deleted them all. I've got to be honest, after the initial burst of endorphin-fuelled high I did wonder whether it was such a good idea. I mean, there was almost certainly one or two in there that, if not exactly interesting or important, did need some sort of action from me.

So I'm waiting for the fallout and trying to think of excuses. I was going to blame it on the Home Secretary. By the time they work out who it is this week they'll have forgotten why they're asking in the first place.


BelfastPeeler said...

We recently got an email (which is ironic given its contents) from the "change team" expressing concern over the fact that the last email they sent was deleted without being read by about 35% of staff.

Having auto preview on I took a disproportionate amount of pleasure in deleting that email without opening it, making it appear like it was deleted without being read as well.

Roses said...

Yay! You're back! I've missed you.

I wouldn't worry about the e-mails you deleted. Because of the time in between when they were sent and when they were deleted, the problem laid out in the content, would have either been solved or passed on to someone else.

chunkybetty said...

Don't worry, one of the comments on my questionnaire said after a month off, out of 450 emails only 12 were relevant. And roses is right, anything important would have been solved by now. See Copperfield's post for a medal(or beer)-worthy comment about what to do (eg. send one back asking if it's relevant for each email) and for a link to the questionnaire (sorry about the shameless plugging - it's all in the name of research :)

Litew8 said...

Welcome back, I thoroughly enjoy reading your blogg and am glad to note that you're not gone permanently!


PC South West said...

We have found a way to avoid having to worry about block deleting them.
Set an out of office message that says you are on leave and that any important emails should be resent after your return date as you will be deleting them all on return.

Girl With The Golden Touch said...

Glad to see you back Mr x

Girl*Next*Door said...

Agree with Roses but if that isn't the case you could always say you pressed the 'select all' & 'delete' tabs by mistake. Easy one to make after all, especially if you're in a hurry....... Lol

"We were worried. Glad to know you are OK. Keep posting"

The above is from Twining of Black in Blue's blog. He can't post on your blog for some reason so left it for me to pass onto you from Southwest's. If that makes any sense!

jj said...

Good to see you back...

Our Skipper at the moment seems to think that he can justify his role by sitting in the office all shift and forwarding his entire inbox to us with the single line at the top - FYI -.

I went through a stage of putting my 'in' tray into an envelope and sending it to my self every now and then which would give me a couple of days of empty tray happiness before it all came back.

Eugene Fields, Jr. said...

It's very interesting to see how the many issues that police officers face are so similar "worldwide." The stress, the constant change in leadership, and the list could go on.

petrolhead said...

We also have to start paying for tea, biscuits etc. at my work, and I am NOT a happy bunny about it!! £1 a week, I might as well buy my own tea! Grrrrr.

Welcome back, anyway! :D

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