Wednesday, 26 December 2007

I've Got It!!!

No, not a nasty dose like the one I wished on Jacqui. And by the way, I still haven't seen her on Sky News having a crafty scratch "down there". Bloody Santa not making my wishes come true!

Anyway, what I have got is the answer. 

But what's the question? Well, if you also wear the Cloth, you'll know how we keep being issued with kit that's completely useless. It just doesn't do what it says on the tin. What's the phrase? Oh yeah, "not fit for purpose". 

For example, my fleece lets all the cold air and water in and after wearing it twice the word Police started to fall off it. 

My strides are itchy and uncomfortable and, on the odd occasion I get to chase somebody like in The Bill, I can't jump over fences without worrying about scrotal damage. 

And my shirts are OK as long as it's not too cold. Or hot. Or wet. Or unless they're taken out of the packet. 

I noticed that our PCSO's had been issued with some really nice looking strides. They were like combat trousers, but a bit shiny and smooth to the touch. I knew I'd never be issued any, because I'd only get them dirty and my Inspector would have to sew patches onto them. But I thought I'd treat myself to a pair. I phoned up our clothing store and asked who the supplier was (some company in Derby) and then phoned them direct to make an order. 

I spoke to a lovely lady who explained that they were £70. I told her she was mistaken, that I only wanted one pair and not one each for everybody I know. But apparently it was I who was mistaken. Because they were £70 a pop! In the end I went to Millets and got two (slightly less shiny but still very smooth pairs for £30. And they were fleece lined!)

So, that's the answer. Instead of Forces spending inordinate amounts of money on kit that either won't get used, because it's crap, or won't get issued because it's too expensive, I've decided to suggest a complete overhaul to the system. 

Basically, we all get issued with £300 worth of vouchers to go and spend at Millets during the Boxing Day sales. We get kit that works and the economy gets a little boost. 

And then we get our Inspector to sew the Force badge on what we buy. 


Girl With The Golden Touch said...

£70 for ONE pair??!

totallyun-pc said...

I suggested that last year.... We wear Blues, (Trousers and shirt) In a work force uniform shop on any high street, Trouser £8. Shirts £10. we could have six pairs each for the price of the two they issue us with.

Body armour from Silvermans £380.00

We pay &600.00 for the same stuff....

don't get me

Have a safe New Year mate!

Inspector Gadget said...

How come you get to wear the fleece twice before "POLICE" rubs off? Ruralshire Constabulary's fleece only lasts for one wear. Lucky bast**ds! The public has a right to know.

thinblueline said...

The only issue with that I can forsee is the risk assement of having a guv' with a needle and thread... he or she could do them selfs a serious injury and be of work for months......

hang on... :)

petrolhead said...

I just got my ambulance uniform (I work for the ambulance service, in case you hadn't guessed...) a few weeks ago and I love my fleece so much I never take it off! Maybe you should change jobs? ;-)

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Rab. said...

At least North Wales have got it right (for once) two pairs of combat trousers a year, 2 hi tech (apparantly) tee shirts (after an initial issue of four) and nice warm fleecy jumper - oh and those bloody dumbed down base-ball caps. Best uniform I've had in thirty years with them (am I being too positive ?)

Photog-Mama said...


Trainee Exile said...

My Met Fleece is lovely. The badge is sewn on.
But we can't wear it except with a coat over the top.
Still keeps you warm

Alexianna said...

That's bad. You guys have enough to worry about without cr*p uniform! Another thing to campaign for improvements on (in addition to the current pay uproar).

Alexianna said...

You haven't posted in over six months! Are you okay? Nothing to vent about? Everything alright with you? We get concerned when you are quiet for so long.
Luv and thoughts x

huggles said...

My friend tells me that police officers at Hornsey Police station in Haringey use organised stalking and harassment tactics to 'sort out' individuals. I thought he meant drug dealers and burglars but he clarified that most people dealt this way seem to be law abiding, ethnic minorities more and often black males.

As a juvenile, my friend who works locally at a garage, used to get into a lot of scrapes with the law. He has been asked to help out in surveilling and what he calls cocooning these individuals. He says that he thinks most are not criminals but appear to have annoyed someone for whatever reason. He also gets paid for his jobs.

Is there substance to this or is old matey pulling my leg?

I have posted this query at other police blogs. Any info would be appreciated.

Anonymous said...

I keep checking on the offchance this blog will become live again but no such luck!