Ask A Stupid Question...

One of the first things you notice when you wear a Police uniform in public is that people expect you to know everything. And I don't mean "everything" in a general, have quite a lot of knowledge way. I mean, literally, everything.

On my first day on foot patrol, I was approached by a member of public with a question. I didn't notice him at first because I was busy looking at my reflection in a shop window. But once he'd caught my attention he wanted to know what the traffic was going to be like in central London the next day, due to some event that was on.

Now, in itself, this isn't too daft a question. If you want to know if there's going to be any traffic restrictions then ask the Police. However...we were stood roughly 200 miles away from London at the time. I bumbled my way through some advice about phoning the Met Police up (what with them actually being in London) and he seemed happy enough.

But, to be fair, I don't mind questions like this. They're rather endearing and I like the interaction with people who are, generally, quite nice. People who know you do it too, and it's quite nice. You can be out walking through the park talking to a friend and the Police helicoptor will go overhead. You can guarantee they'll ask "what are they up there for?"

You think "Er, dunno. Because I'm down here. And they're up there." But instead I'll mumble something about "Well, they're probably looking for somebody. Maybe a criminal who's on the run..." and my friend will accept this quite happily, like they've been let in on a bit secret. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what it does when I'm on duty most of the time so if you catch me holding an ice cream and wearing sandals then you're going to be disappointed with the answer.

Then there's the question that people ask, not because they don't know the answer, but because somehow having it confirmed by a Police officer makes them more comfortable. I've been stood on a cordon before, with a bit of road or footpath taped off with Police tape and I've been approached by a member of public. I'm normally wearing something yellow and shiney and holding a rather serious looking clip board.

"So, this path's closed off is it?" I look around slowly to make sure I haven't missed anything. Twelve year olds think it's an absolutely marvellous game sneaking in behind me! Nope, all is as it should be. So I reply, "Erm, yes, I'm afraid it is." "Ah, thought so" comes the reply before the person thanks me and walks off.

Or you attend a Road Traffic Collision. Broken cars everywhere. Glass in the road. Police cars, Ambulances and Fire engines everywhere, blue strobe lights lighting up the street. Perhaps somebody is sat on the curb, crying and being attended to by the paramedics. The street is being closed with cones and "Police Accident" signs. People are running around doing their jobs, looking very serious and saying things like, "Two vehicle RTC, slight injury, road closed" into their radios.

And sombody walks up and asks "has there been an accident?" The temptation to reply "well, apparently but I can't seem to find it" is enough to make me curl up into a ball.