That Email I Mentioned

As I think about what to write on this, I can feel myself getting angry again! If all of a sudden this post goes all "sadl;jfkaeofj avmaik" don't be alarmed. It's me punching the keyboard.

I opened up an email from a chap who's an Acting Chief Inspector. He was forwarding a string of emails to all the Sergeants on our Division. This string of emails had been through two Supernintendos, any number of other Chief Inspectors, somebody called a "Governance Manager" (how do they think up their job titles? Stick a pin into a random page of the dictionary?) and started with a Civilian member of staff with a whinge.

Apparently, the staff in the Enquiry Offices (the front offices of the Police stations) are a bit niffed at all the producers they're having to deal with. Basically, if you're given a producer by a copper to show your driving licence, insurance etc, then you have to take it and your documents to a Police station. Here, a Station Desk Officer will check your documents and fill out another form to show that they're all OK. It is, as it were, part of their job description.

But not, it would seem, something they're over keen on. Hence the long string of emails. (As an aside, I wonder if this would work for me? "Sorry guv, I'm not keen on dealing with domestics. I'll send you an email...")

The person originating this email (bearing in mind she is paid with tax payers money) had sat down and audited every single producer issued since the begining of the year. The officer can choose to have the documents just "checked" (i.e. is the insurance in date and for the right car etc) or recorded, where the policy numbers etc are written down.

This woman had produced league tables of those officers who had issued more than five "check only" this year and made them into a lovely looking Excel spreadsheet. One of my officers was on the list.

I've got to be honest, when I first saw the spreadsheet I hadn't bothered reading the email properly so my first thought was, "that's fantastic, he's in the top ten. I'll have to remember to thank and congratulate him". But apparently this wasn't the point. I was supposed to "have a word" with him about the strain he's putting on the Enquiry Office.

So I replied with one of those emails that you write when you're angry, press "send" in a blind rage and then, afterwards, think "oops".

I listed the following points whilst I was venting my spleen:

• the fact that there's inadequate numbers of officers, meaning that those who are available are getting dumped on more and more, means that we should be thinking of ways to maintain their morale and enthusiasm. This wasn't a good way to do that.
• officers are, for want of a better word, "marked" on how pro-active they are. A good way of measuring this is by seeing if they are getting out there and stopping our criminals and checking, amongst other things, that they've got insurance etc.
• this bloody woman is paid thousands of pounds of my money. If we absolutely have to employ her, then I'd rather she was doing something even vaguely worthwhile with her time.
• people are starting to get hacked off with email after email telling them what they're doing wrong (normally only filling out three forms with the same information, rather than the fourth one that's required by some department that doesn't even exist any more, but that still, for some reason, wants their copy of the information). It wouldn't hurt to send the odd one telling them how marvellous they are. Infact, they could even do this in person although I accept they'd have to be careful not to fall down the stairs as they descended their ivory towers.
• that checking drivers' documents when they've been required to produce is, kind of, this bloody woman's job. If they don't like it then they can go and get another job. There's probably loads of well paid Council jobs for people who can use Excel and Outlook.
• that I was starting to get hacked off with the way the job was going and that I'd rather spend my time catching burglars rather than dealing with drivel like this.
• and that, finally, I wouldn't be "having a word" with the officer, other than to give him a pat on the back.

a;ljf;aokj;dkrnaoei!!!!!!!!!

I'm looking forward to the reply that'll be waiting for me when I go back to work. I'm really getting a bit too bolshy these days. This sort of stuff used to just wash over me but I think I've just had enough to be honest. Which, I accept, probably isn't great for my career.

lskjfo;asujf;adkjfakjfaowiejfoawijfa'woiejfaslkjf;lasd f;asoifj;oajf!!!!!!!!!