That'll Be My Fault, Then?

Have you ever tried to make a complaint about your electricity company? Or maybe about your bank or the service you've received at a shop? You know the thing.
1)You're not happy.
2)You phone them up.
3)They give you the run around.
4)You get angry and write a letter.
5)They lose the letter.
6)You phone them back and ask what happened to the letter.
7)You listen to "greensleeves" for 2 hours whilst queueing.
8)You get passed between 7 different departments before speaking to the right person.
9)They pretend you don't exist.
10)You prove you exist.
11)They pretend they don't exist.
12)You scream a lot.
13)They put the phone down on you for being rude.

And so it goes. Now, compare this to making a complaint against a Police officer.

1)You're not happy.
2)You phone them up.
3)Before you know it, Inspectors and Professional Standards Departments are elbowing each other out of the way to be the first to offer you the chance to put everything in writing so that a full investigation can take place.
4)A sack full of leaflets lands on your doorstep "advising" you how to have the matter referred to the Independant Police Complaints Commission.
5)They then start phoning you up to check you're OK.
6)You start to receive letters from Superintendants saying how sorry they are.
7)You start to feel harrassed.
8)An investigator from Professional Standards turns up at your house to take a statement.
9)A solicitor friend of a friend of yours suggests sueing the Police for your trauma.
10)The solicitor writes to the Chief Constable demanding compensation.
11)The Chief Constable writes to you apologising, enclosing a big cheque.
12)You tell your friends who realise they can pay for a new conservatory if they do the same thing.

Then compare that to the experience of the Police officer involved.

1)You stop somebody for driving without their seatbelt.
2)They get quite rude asking why you haven't got anything better to do.
3)You point out that you keep having to stop to deal with people who don't wear their seatbelts.
4)You issue them with a ticket.
5)The person points out that "I know the Chief Constable".
6)You give them a big smile and ask that they pass on your regards.
7)Five days later you get dragged into the Inspectors office and served with a notice that you're the subject of a complaint.
8)The complaint states that you were rude, abusive, overbearing, misusing your powers and acting unlawfully.
9)You point out to the Inspector that this isn't actually true.
10)The Inspector points out to you that you're on administrative duties until it's all sorted out.
11)An elderly lady gets burgled and there aren't any Police officers to provide an immediate response.
12)As the lady phoned the Police, you were busy counting paper clips to keep the public safe from you.

To be honest, some of the above is a bit extreme. But not that much. If we do something wrong then that should be addressed. But there's no regard given to the fact that we have to make split second decisions, often under immese pressure.

I've long since lost count of the times that somebody's told me, "I'm going to make a complaint!" In fact, my initial reaction now is, "yeah, you probably will".

The first complaint I ever received as a brand new shiney probationer was from somebody I'd arrested for shoplifting and possessing drugs. His complaint read, "the officer approached me and told me he was going to search me. I didn't want to be searched because I had drugs in my pocket. So I resisted. During the arrest I received a bruise to my arm and the zip on my coat was broken". I actually thought it was a joke until I remembered the Inspector giving me the notice didn't have a sense of humour. And it took nearly six months to resolve.

It does occur to me though, as Summer's approaching and I can't afford to go anywhere really nice, I wonder if I'm rude to myself and make a complaint about myself can I get the Chief Constable to pay for my ticket?