You Know You've Joined The Police When...

1) Somebody at a party asks you what you do and you look at your feet and mumble something about "civil servant". (Doesn't work if you actually are a civil servant. In fact civil servants mumble something about "Police". But you get the gist...)
2) You're running late for work and you pop into Tesco's on the way to buy cakes. Saves time later and keeps your Sergeant happy.
3) A good night out on the town means "I did 4 hours foot patrol outside a nightclub and it didn't rain, nobody started fighting with me and the nice man at KFC gave me something to eat.
4) You can deal with death, serious crime, tragedy and heartache without batting an eyelid. But as soon as somebody uses the word "gossip" everything stops until you find out who's now sleeping with whom.
5) Your other half asks where you left the keys and you point using your whole hand instead of just your finger.
6) Everybody stares at you and it's not because you've left your flies open. But you still can't help checking sneakily just in case.
7) You wave at ambulances and fire engines. Even when you're not at work.
8) There's a story on the news about a huge demonstration in your area that's turned violent. The news reader says she's worried about impending death and destruction. Hundreds might lose their lives; thousands might lose their homes. You wonder if there's any overtime going.
9) You check your emails and eight different people from eight different departments are all telling you to complete a particular piece of paperwork. And they're all saying that theirs is the most important thing in the world. And they all wanted it done by yesterday.
10) After a few years of taking statements you could go on Mastermind with a specialist subject of "old lady's biscuits".